• “Roses are red. Violet are blue. Keep the flowers. I’d rather have shoes.”
• “Every year in the middle of February, something wonderful and heartwarming happens. Tons of candy goes on clearance.”
• “If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember… no one loves you on the other days of the year either.”
• “Box of chocolates: $20. Flowers: $30. Dinner and a movie: $60. Keeping your $110 on Valentine’s Day because you’re single: Priceless.”
• “I know being single on Valentine’s Day can suck, but it’s so much better than dating some idiot.”
• “I’m going to spend Valentine’s Day with my true love… food.”
• “Roses are red. Violets are blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.”
• “Just saved tons of money on Valentine’s Day by switching to single.”
• “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”