The Top Ten Best One-Liners

posted by Brian Cleary - 

Scotland's Edinburgh Fringe Festival is, according to the New York Times, the largest arts festival "in the known world," as only the Olympics and World Cup have a bigger attendance.    The last of the 53,000 performances of the 4 week festival take place today.    For the past 10 years, "Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe," has shared the funniest one-liner from a judges' shortlist.    These are this year's top 10 winners:

  • "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change." (Ken Cheng)
  • "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book." (Frankie Boyle)
  • "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" (Alexei Sayle)
  • "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her." (Lew Fitz)
  • "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated." (Andy Field)
  • "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant." (Mark Simmons)
  • "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." (Jimeoin)
  • "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house." (Ed Byrne)
  • "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine." (Olaf Falafel)
  • "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' (Alasdair Beckett-King)
Brian Cleary

Brian Cleary

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